Another day, another supposedly turned corner disappears into the sunset along with the chance of anything to look forward to during this league campaign. United traveled to Sunderland on the back of a ‘epic’ run which had seen four points in the last two games. Unfortunately as is to be expected under the increasingly incompetent Louis Van Gaal, the Reds followed any semblance of quality with a display so inept it makes you wonder how on earth some of these players are actually paid money for their services. Sunderland are perennial relegation fodder and it’s going to take all of Sam Allardyce’s managerial skills to see them avoid the drop this season, but against United today the Mackems looked like an early 90s AC Milan and a 1950s Real Madrid combined XI.
Here’s how that shower also known as the Manchester United team fared at the Stadium of Shi… sorry Light.
David De Gea; Wasn’t to blame for either goal, despite one actually being accredited to him as an OG. The Spaniard must be looking forward to the Bernabeu the same way I’m looking forward to Van Gaal retiring. 6
Matteo Darmian: Dislocated his shoulder so at least gets credit for missing out on much of the travesty we witnessed today but did nothing in his time on the pitch to suggest his injury actually affected United negatively. 5
Daley Blind: He’s not a defender, he’s not a midfielder, he’s not a centre back, he’s not a left back, he’s not a Manchester United footballer. Not good enough and we need to find someone else to partner Chris Smalling. 4
Chris Smalling: He may be having a good season, but this wasn’t a good day at the office and if he’s going to reach the highest levels of football he needs to start showing some leadership qualities and organising the defence more. 4
Cameron Borthwick-Jackson: Not his best game but still a lot better than most of his team mates, it’s a shame this lad will probably have all the natural attacking instincts coached out of him over the next few months. 6
Morgan Schneiderlin: Where is the player who dominated against Watford and stifled City earlier in the season? The Frenchman seems to have lost his mojo recently and did nothing at the Stadium of Light to remind us why picking Marouane Fellaini ahead of him is so bonkers. 5
Michael Carrick: In the nine or so years Carrick has been at the club, I can’t recall him having a less effective game. He gave the ball away was completely weak in his challenges and looked like he wanted to be there as much as Ryan Giggs wants to be sat next to Louis Van Gaal. Awful. 3
Juan Mata: The diminutive midfielder is something of a conundrum this season. United’s problems aren’t really down to the former Chelsea man and he still shows moments of class, but it can’t be ignored that he’s played in so many of the Reds disappointing games and not really done that much. Against Sunderland Mata tried to get United going but he could’ve and perhaps should’ve tried harder. 5
Jesse Lingard: It’s easy to forget the Lingard has actually been one of the Reds’ more effective performers this season when he produces displays like this. Was pretty anonymous and didn’t come close to doing THAT celebration today. 5
Anthony Martial: What would we do without Tony M? Probably curl up into the fetal position and sob hysterically. Took his goal well and at least looked like he wanted to win the game. 7
Wayne Rooney: The renaissance is over and normal service is resumed. Did nothing all game bar a bit of the occasional shouting at the ref. 4
Subs: Donald Love [for Darmian] The youngster gave a good account of himself and deserved better from his more experienced team mates. 6
Memphis [For Lingard] Whisper it quietly but the young Dutchman may be more Karel Poborsky than Cristiano Ronaldo. I’m losing faith rapidly. 5
Will Keane [ for Schneiderlin] Was given five minutes to score as many goals as he’s managed in 20 games at Preston. Don’t recall seeing him touch the ball. n/a.
Referee: Andre Marriner: Got a few things right – the John O’Shea ‘handball’ for one and a few things wrong the Rooney ‘handball’ for example. Pretty much upset both sets of fans with his incompetence and inconsistency, but in all honesty United lost this game due to poor football, not poor refereeing. 4
Louis Van Gaaa: It’s time to go. The manager is now hanging on to his job by a thread thanks to the chance of Champions League qualification via the Europa League. Makes me sick mothaf*cka, how far we done fell. 1