Celebrate good times.. COME ON ! Its a celebration.
That amazing moment for any fan. It’s the winning goal. It’s the euphoric rush. It’s the scream. The fist-pump. The drop to the knees.
We all have a different way of celebrating the winning goal. But then, so do the players. What does a players celebration tell us about them? Can we obtain any important info about their inner psyches by their own celebratory reactions? This week, The Faithful’s Mike Woods has teamed up with the famous psychoanalyst Sir Sigmund DuGout, and spent some time analysing our United heroes reactions to scoring.
Let us begin.
Clearly a humble chap. Most goalscoring moments by Giggsy immediately begin with the “shocked face”. Think of the title winner against Wigan two years ago. He peels off behind the goal looking like he’s being chased by burglars. Only when he stops running does he break into the smile. He did exactly the same with THAT goal at Villa park, or those old daft celebrations with Incey. Conclusion ? Still shocked at scoring, still cant quite believe his luck at playing for United, still enjoys every goal the same. The consumate pro, taking nothing for granted, and only letting himself truly celebrate after checking that everything else is clear first. Top chap. Legend.
Walking off the pitch having destroyed the scousers with a hat trick, you’d actually think someone had just informed him of a terminal disease. His absolute dis-affection from emotion when scoring is quite scary to behold, and does nothing to wipe away the fans worries that he really doesn’t give a shit. Sigmund DuGout fairly points out that he’s uncomfortable with attention, and often plays the trick of running towards the assister pointing at him, as if to deflect any glory as he’s uncomfortable with it.
Immediately upon scoring portrays the face of a psycho. Scary. Like the first machine gun cartridge of a killing spree. The Serbian Soldier is an apt nickname. Hunches shoulders and stoops like he’s running solo across a minefield. I would not get in his way. A Serbian trait ? (please do not watch the trailer to “A Serbian Film”, but I’d hazard a guess there’s a non-emotive DNA in the Serbian make-up somewhere)
The leap. Its all about the leap isn’t it ? Celebrates his own goals with the crowd baiting double windmill, but will always be more visible for the giant leap onto another goalscorers back. What does this tell us about Rio ? Whilst its easy to jump to the conclusion that he’s an ego-maniac that wants his face in every photo (Hello David Beckham), i genuinely believe he gets very excited. I don’t believe Rio to be be too deeply layered, if you catch my drift, just a stand up good bloke that loves a goal like the fans.
Show pony innit. Not that that’s a problem necessarily. Every team needs someone capable of the things he does. But you have to worry about any player that pushes his team-mates away from himself in order to perform a triple salco with pike half twist. Tends to portray the “roar” instead of the “smile” too, which probably shows how tightly wound he is from the pressure of being Ronaldo, which is the unspoken horror he carries on his shoulders.
The full speed sprint to knee slide. What is it about the knee slide ? Dirty knees. If there’s one player you can imagine getting told off by his Mum for coming home every night with green grass stains on his school trousers, then its Rooney. He’s recently shown us that he has no brain whatsoever, so whatever prompts this celebration i don’t know. Sigmund advises that his auto-pilot celebration is fed by nothing other than fags, booze and whores (allegedly)
The best. Far too good for anyone or any team or any stadium. Why on earth should he feel the need to celebrate? The early years were dominated by the fast run with right hand raised in pointing, jabbing motion. And once the ego had truly landed, we were treated with everything from piss-take crowd jumps & pole swings, to the famous chip against Sunderland culminating in the now famous 360 degree slow turn (nearly ruined by Brian McClair.. Brian what were you thinking !? LEAVE ERIC ALONE WHEN HE CELEBRATES ?!) Sigmund highlights a man so very comfortable on the football pitch that only Thierry Henry and Cristiano Ronaldo since have shown that level of non-surprise at their own genius.
A man who’s dribbling skill was so awe inspiring, he actually carried it into his celebration. Watch him do it. When he ran with the ball, his upper body gave no clue or movement to suggest where he would carry the ball next, allowing him to swerve around people with the slightest hint of the dropped shoulder. Watching him celebrate is a joy to behold. His upper body literally doesn’t move. One arm is raised, and then above the waist he is motionless, while his little legs run at top speed. Watch the 68 final at Wembley and that goal. That actually makes his celebration technically gifted. A one-off.
Aaaah, the little jump. I often thought Dwight’s celebration was inspired by Fergie’s jig. Every goal was followed by a small run and then a little jump before happily being engulfed by team mates. When my fiancee is excited she often does the little jump. Its a beautiful sign of innocent joy. And lets face it, if you look up “happiness” in the dictionary you see Dwight Yorke’s face. Has there been a happier player? I’d hazard a guess that he’s the nicest chap in the world. Sigmund agrees, finding no duplicity in Dwight at all.
The perfect way to finish our little psychological exploration. The Elvis corner flag routine. Its not often that Fergie lets his protege superstars become distracted by fame and fortune, but when they do, they blow it in style. Lee’s party behaviour led to the inevitable exit. He’ll still argue it was down to injury, but we all know the truth. If you ever needed an example of a celebration illustrating a mental state it was Lee being the rock star at the corner flag.
Sigmund is a little tired now, but would welcome any other additions. Have we missed any classics ?
Please join us again soon for more Chronicles.
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