With Sir Alex recently passing the young and tender age of 70 year old, and what seems like a millennia at Manchester United, it feels like every bugger and their Nan has felt the need to come in and have a say as to who should take over as United manager once the great man decides to call it a day. Once? Sorry, I meant to say ‘if’.
Normally I’d save my pointless ramblings to a few 140 character messages on Twitter but after an odd experience yesterday night, and after I somehow managed to trick Rob B™, aka badgerwolf on Twitter, into think that I have any idea of what I’m talking about when it comes to football, I’ve decided to write a piece on who I think should become Manchester United manager for when I estimate Sir Alex will call it a day; sometime around June 2062.
Excluding that one time I dreamt I was nailing Marge Simpson (True story), yesterday night I had the most bizarre dream I’ve ever had. It involved me following a certain Jose Mourinho out of a tunnel where he was preparing himself to take on a group of journalists a few metres away. Just before he managed to escape from my stalkers grasp, he finally gave in and answered the question I’d repeatedly harassed him with for the past minute or so. “Are you going to take over from Sir Alex” I asked, only to be ignored over and over again until till he whispered “Yes I am, but make sure you don’t tell anyone” into my ear.
Now, obviously if I was to sit here and tell you Jose is guaranteed to be our next after being told so by my subconscious-ness, it would hold as much credibility as me telling you Sir Alex’s least favourite Pot Noodle is a Bombay Mix because he’s never signed an Indian footballer before.
All this talk regarding who will be our next manager is actually nothing more than a guessing game at the moment, with even Sir Alex confirming that he has never actually gone into discussion with David Gill or our leprechaun look-alike owners as to who should come in and replace him. Still, that doesn’t mean I haven’t made up my own personal opinion on why Mr. Mourinho would be best candidate to replace the irreplaceable Scotsmen.
In short, Jose Mourinho is the best young manager in the world who has pretty much won every single competition he’s ever been in. There is not much else to say to be honest, other than no one else comes close to him in terms of achievements except for Sir Alex himself.
People frequently point out that his football tactics are often ‘slow’ and ‘boring’ but with Jose, he does what needs to be done in order to win as seen at Porto, Chelsea and Inter Milan where he took both leagues by storm. He was asked to bring titles to the trophy room right there and then, and he did just that. We must realize that once Sir Alex does go, and assuming the Glazers are still the club owners at that time, the club can’t afford to go too long without a trophy because with the amount of money the Glazers are taking away from the club, I currently have a bigger transfer budget than the club does using just the EMA money I saved up from college. Jose will do just that if need be.
As I pointed out earlier, Jose will get the best out of what little he has available at a given situation. With Real Madrid however, he has shown that when given the recourses and the chance to build a team from scratch, he can not only win football matches, but he can also do it in style. Everybody has their own personal preference when it comes to football style and for me; the current counter-attacking football played by Real at times this season has been unreal and easily my ideal choice of attacking football. Split-second, full speed end to end football at its best has been demonstrated by Ronaldo and co time and time again this season. It even beats that tip-tap nonsense that often gets lauded as ‘ultimate’ football by millions which gets played by Real’s Catalan rivals who ironically find themselves 10 points behind the top of the league and almost guaranteed runners-up. Bitter? moi?
Jose and his current crop at Madrid have proven that Mr. Mourinho can not only win, but even win in style. Ideally for us, Real play a very similar style of play to that used at Old Trafford with large emphasis on wing play and speed. Jose and United are a match made in heaven.
One factor that might worry you is how much Mourinho has spent during his brief spells at the four clubs he’s managed so far. This shouldn’t be an issue if he was to come to United because we have something none of the other clubs did. Thanks to Sir Alex’s unreal ability to work 5 years ahead of everybody else in the league, the foundations of the club is in perfect condition for the next manager to take over from without the need to spend too much. Brilliant young players such as the likes of Tom Cleverley, Danny Welbeck, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling and David De Gea will occupy the Old Trafford ranks for years to come meaning Jose has the perfect platform to build a world beating side with. This is a major factor in my opinion, and it isn’t something which he has really had at any other club. Obviously some major adjustments will have to be made with Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes soon nearing 40 years of age, but if there is any person you would want to take control of a difficult situation like that; a smart, well spoken, charismatic but smug bastard who will take control of the dressing room and instill an authority to which no body will dare challenge, then Jose is your ideal man.
So, if you still haven’t managed to conclude from the past thousand words or so, I really want Jose Mourinho to become our next manager once Sir Alex calls it a day. As you all know with football though, nothing is a certainty and all can change within a matter of weeks. Only a few months ago, somewhere and for some reason, a few idiots were calling for Owen Coyle to be our eventual savoir whereas now he’d be lucky to manage my Sunday league side. Legends can be made overnight and that will only lead to more and more people being linked with the Old Trafford job as the days pass, but as Sir Alex stated in his recent interview with Spoony, our next manager has to have a tonne of experience so he’ll be able to cope with the expectations of the job, which again proves that Jose is the perfect candidate. Luckily for us though, Sir Alex also stated in that interview with Spoony that he feels fit and able to continue as United manager for at least another 2 years. As long as Fergie is our current manager, we really shouldn’t be too worried about anything else other than the present state of the club. Sir Alex also stated that he expects to take up another role in the club after he retires, meaning he will have a massive say in who will become his successor. Looking at Fergie’s record for the past 25 years or so, he hasn’t done that badly to be fair to him so I think we should appreciate what we have now, what he has given us and just trust him to make the right decision when the time comes.
But I want Jose.
Maureen spends far too much time talking about his love for his past clubs and clubs he wants to go to next. He is a short term-ist. Not to mention a c**t of the highest order, gouging the eye of an opposition coach then hiding away, I repeat GOUGING THE EYE!!!! You want that behaviour at Untied? Do me a favour. Not a chance in hell do I want him anywhere near working for United. He shouldn’t even be considered.
I had some doubts about him but I want him to be our next manager. The worry is will he wait for SAF to call it a day?